Five People Fox News Ought to Hire Before Zell Miller

It was a rousing moment; the Fox News Channel had the highest viewership in the history of its existence on September 1, 2004. Senator Zell Miller proclaimed that John Kerry wanted to defend America with “spitballs” speaking at the Republican National Convention. A Georiga Democrat, Zell had voted with the Republicans so often many wondered why he had not changed parties. Miller maintains it is the Democratic Party that abandoned his values, not vice versa. And that hook is why Fox News Channel has decided to hire Miller as a contributor. It may or may not be a gimmick. Even if it is not, there are several other personalities who FNC should have hired before the former Georgia governor.

Brad Carson: No Democrat candidate has been more critical of the Party’s strategy after November 2. To hear him tell it, Democrats cannot win in Oklahoma so long as it is the party of Hillary Clinton and Ted Kennedy. What’s more, the Rhodes Scholar Carson lacks any Southern twang in his voice. This combined with being only 37 years old, means he cannot be written off as a civil rights era relic like Miller could be. Carson also is just as organic as Miller, having been born and raised in a long-time Oklahoman family.

Michael Scheuer: Certainly guys like William Kristol, Richard Perle, and Paul Wolfowitz chafe at the former CIA analyst’s suggestion that the US has to reevaluate its relationship with Israel. But Scheuer’s assertion that we are really fighting an Islamic insurgency, not terrorism is music to the ears of people who want to expand the “war on terror”. His warm, teddy-bear countenance is a stark contrast to more sinister-looking folk like Charles Krauthammer. Add in the fact that few former CIA agents appear on ANY all-news channel and you can see why getting the man formerly known only as “Mike” should be a big priority for Fox.

Victor David Hanson: You might question why Fox would want to hire the author of the book “Mexifornia”. Rural votes were the key to Bush’s victory in ’04, not Latinos. Hanson comes from a long line of farmers while also being a professor in classics. His slow, deliberate style of speaking is melodious and thoughtful. He is also from California, where agriculture is the largest employer despite being it being a “blue state”. All of these things make Hanson a distinct voice, and someone who can speak forcefully albeit constructively.

Ralph Nader: Here is a real, dyed-in-the-wool liberal who has absolutely nothing good to say about the Democratic Party. For while Zell hit John Kerry from the right, Nader bashed him from the left. It’s true that Nader would likely never take money from Rupert Murdoch or Roger Ailes…but not because they are conservative. Nader has been a very strong antagonist toward media consolidation. He fears that if the sources of information congeal into fewer and fewer hands, it is more possible for people to be misled. Murdoch recently bought DirecTV to ensure that the Fox brand in America, the NewsCorp brand in Australia, and the Sky brand elsewhere always have a modicum of broadcast. Certainly no one represents these views among the current Fox News Contributors, but Nader’s other solidly liberal opinions mean he would still be in the panelist minority.

Jesse Ventura: His MSNBC show didn’t quite make it, but that doesn’t mean that the former governor of Minnesota would not work well as a contributor. He’s from the heartland, and he’s not exactly well liked by Republicans OR Democrats. But the reason to pick him over Miller, Ventura isn’t trying to write books. He says lots of punchy things, but does not market himself as a McCain wannabe. Add the deep voice and the background in acting, and be it Jesse “the Mind” or Jesse “Body”…Roger Ailes ought to dial his agent.